I am haunted by demons
that will not leave me,
give me no respite
and offer
no opportunity to find
a sanctuary
among the burning remains.

I am tormented
by the things
that might have been
but never were,
the lives
never lived
and the loves
never fulfilled.

I am a man awash
in his own remains
as I wish for you
despite my best efforts,
that wants for you
inspite of
my better judgments
and desires
to be part
of your whole
regardless of what
circumstances
have come to pass.

Your beauty destroys me
in ways you cannot understand,
dare not
to comprehend
and are better off
for not knowing.

My life has led me
to a vastness
I cannot bear
for the heat
and sand
and solitude
have stripped me
of all
that I might
have been.

I have wished
upon every star,
I have cursed
nearly every move I have made
and every decision
I failed,
I have hoped
more than any man
should be expected
to survive
that your love
would be my love
and in the coupling
my peace
would be found.

Forgive me my trespasses,
my love,
for some things
no matter how much
might be wished
cannot
and will never
die.